Thursday, April 19, 2012


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Harassment on the Washington Dc Metro

I drew this sketch a while ago on the Metro in Washington D.C. 

One woman on the Metro and a dozen men leering unabashedly. 

At what point does this constitute harassment?

The answer: immediately.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Franklin Scandal

I believe there are elements of truth to this story - based on what I was told by the FBI agent on the Etan Patz case (see below)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Stigma of Male Rape And Its Hidden Cost

One of the last stigmas is male rape. This is an excellent program highlighting the issue.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Unknown Truth About Etan Patz

The horrible murder of the little boy in Brooklyn this week brought back news reports of Etan Patz. This is a post I did earlier, but given that Patz is back in the news, I am reposting it. The journalist never contacted me about the information I share on the case below.

In response to the above article on Etan Patz, I sent this email to the article's author (he never responded):

I'm a reader in DC and thought I'd share this with you about the Etan Patz matter;
A few years ago I took a forensics class through the Smithsonian Resident's Associate program; it featured FBI specialists. One was an FBI forensic artist. Among the cases he showed us was the Etan Patz case; he said he is absolutely certain that a trucker had a photo of Etan Patz as an older child...according to him, a pedophile ring of truckers existed that abducted kids and traded them and one of the truckers was arrested which showed him with a young boy in a photo. The forensic artist said he determined this to be Etan Patz (a few years after the abduction). He said he tried to get interest but the FBI agents and police were set on their views and didn't want to hear it. I asked him if he would mind if I told the story to the media; he said I could and gave me his card.

I called the NYPost (my favorite paper) and spoke to the person at their crime desk. That person said "who the hell is Etan Patz?" and had no interest. I caled the Etan Patz Task Force referred to in the article and was told they don't accept tips over the phone.

I don't think I have the FBI agent's name anymore but if you are interested it would be easy to find; just call the Smithsonian Resident's Program in DC, ask for the name of the smithsonian forensic anthropoligist who gives the forensics classes and then ask him for the name of the FBI agent he had as the forensic artist...I think I took the class way back around 2003.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Buddhist Sexual Abuse

From The Daily Mail:
a partial excerpt, click the link for the article:

In November 1994 an American woman known as Janice Doe filed a $10m lawsuit against the Tibetan lama Sogyal Rinpoche, charging him with sexual, mental and physical abuse. The case was dealt with out of court and Janice Doe signed a non-disclosure agreement in return for a cash settlement.

Sogyal denies allegations of abuse, but fresh evidence against him was recently aired in an investigative documentary called In the Name of Enlightenment, broadcast on Vision TV in Canada. A beautiful young woman identified as Mimi described an abusive sexual relationship. She was the first person claiming direct experience of Sogyal's exploitative attentions to go public since the 1994 lawsuit.

Sogyal (surname Lakar – Rinpoche is a title that means "precious one") is the frontman for a Tibetan Buddhist organisation called Rigpa, which has a worldwide reach with 130 centres in 41 countries. He has a bestselling book, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, to his name and he starred alongside Keanu Reeves in the movie Little Buddha. Sogyal is a formidably successful guru – probably the best known Tibetan after the Dalai Lama. His trajectory into Buddhist superstardom suffered only a temporary setback following the Janice Doe lawsuit – despite the fact that lurid rumours about his sex life circulate on the internet with increasing volume and persistence.

The allegations raise a wider question: why are victims of sexual exploitation by charismatic religious leaders reluctant to denounce their abusers? In the Canadian documentary, Mimi highlights the Stockholm syndrome – a term used to describe the paradoxical reactions of individuals who bond with their abusers. "The person beating us, she says, "is also the only one giving us affection – and food and a roof over our heads."

Sociologist Amanda van Eck is deputy director of Inform, the cult information resource at the London School of Economics. She says fear is probably the main reason why women stay silent: "In some groups there has been fear of retribution," she says, "which means they don't want to speak publicly. In other cases, which may overlap with fear of retribution, they are fearful of negative consequences – damnation, of not being saved, of possession by evil spirits, of being attacked by negative forces and so on."

If the outside world has been demonised by cult leaders, Van Eck says, women may also be fearful that no one can be trusted.

Many women who have described abusive sexual relationships anonymously on internet forums refuse to come out of hiding because they want to move on, rather than relive traumatic periods in their lives. Some also feel a need to protect their families.

In my personal experience, there are two taboos in Buddhist organisations, both of which have merit and both of which can be used as manipulative tools. One of them is an injunction against gossip – useful when trying to establish a calm mental state, but also useful to prevent the circulation of critical comment.

The second is samaya – the bond of loyalty that is one of the key tenets of Tibetan Buddhism. It supports the relationship between teacher and neophyte, but it can be deployed unscrupulously as a threat – break your samaya and attract dire consequences to yourself and your loved ones.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Area Principal Arrested For Child Porn, Admits Child Abuse

An assistant principal at Greenville Elementary School in Nokesville, Va., was arrested Wednesday for allegedly possessing and distributing child pornography.

Joshua Paul Myers, 29, was arrested today at his home in Warrenton, Va., after a search of his residence.

He has been suspended from his job without pay, Fauqier County Superintendent Jonathan Lewis told NBC Washington.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

As an abuse survivor I grew up brainwashed that I didn't deserve to be happy or to care about myself. When I finally found happiness, I threw it away because it felt wrong and undeserved. It is impossible to change the past. But I understand now that by failing myself I failed her, and that by failing her I failed the world.

Friday, December 10, 2010

US Tax Dollars Support Child Trafficking

From:, copyright Amanda Kloer


The now infamous Wikileaks recently released a cable from Afghanistan revealing U.S. government contractor DynCorp threw a party for Afghan security recruits featuring trafficked boys as the entertainment. Bacha bazi is the Afghan tradition of "boy play" where young boys are dressed up in women's clothing, forced to dance for leering men, and then sold for sex to the highest bidder. Apparently this is the sort of "entertainment" funded by your tax dollars when DynCorp is in charge of security in Afghanistan.

DynCorp is a government contractor which has been providing training for Afghan security and police forces for several years. Though the company is about as transparent as a lead-coated rock, most reports claim over 95% of their budget comes from U.S. taxpayers. That's the same budget that DynCorp used to pay for a party in Kunduz Province for some Afghan police trainees. The entertainment for the evening was bacha bazi boys, whose pimps were paid so the boys would sing and dance for the recruits and then be raped by them afterward. That's your tax dollars at work -- fighting terrorism and extremism in Afghnistan by trafficking little boys for sex with cops-in-training.

In fact, the evidence linking DynCorp to bacha bazi was so damning, Afghan Minister of the Interior Hanif Atmar tried to quash the story. Upon hearing a journalist was investigating DynCorp and the U.S. government's funding of the sex trafficking of young boys in Afghanistan, Atmar warned any publication of the story would "endanger lives," and requested the U.S. suppress the story. Atmar admitted he had arrested eleven Afghans nationals as "facilitators" of the bacha bazi party. But he was only charging them with "purchasing a service from a child," which is illegal under Sharia law and the civil code. And in this case "services" is not used as a euphemism for sex; so far, no one is being held accountable for the young boys whose rapes were paid for by the U.S. taxpayers.

As if this story couldn't get any more outrageous, Atmar went on to say that if news of the incident got out, he was "worried about the image of foreign mentors". In other words, why should something as piddling as the humiliation, objectification, sale, and rape of some children tarnish the good name of DynCorp and all the work (read: money) they're doing in Afghanistan? After all, bacha bazi is growing in popularity in Afghanistan, especially in areas like Kunduz. Why shouldn't U.S. government contractors be able to win local favor by pimping young boys?

Of course, this isn't the first time DynCorp has used U.S. tax dollars to support sex trafficking. In Bosnia in 1999, Kathryn Bolkovac was fired from the company after blowing the whistle on DynCorp's staffers pimping out girls as young as 12 from Eastern European countries. DynCorp settled a lawsuit involving Bolkovac, and her story was recently featured in The Whistleblower, where she was portrayed by Rachel Weiss. It's a happy ending for one DynCorp whistle blower, but will there be a Bolkovac in Afghanistan?

It's time American taxpayers demanded a zero tolerance policy on our money being used to support child sex trafficking overseas. Tell the UN Mission to Afghanistan the time has come to crack down on those who buy and sell boys in bacha bazi, whether they're Afghans or U.S. government contractors, security personnel or citizens. No one should be able to traffic children so sex and get away with it, and that includes repeat offender DynCorp. We have a right to demand our tax dollars go to fight trafficking, not support it. And we have a right to demand the U.S. government and their contractors be held accountable for exploiting the boys of Afghanistan.

please go to for more information and to sign a petition

Friday, November 26, 2010

UK Pedophile Ring

As I stated in an earlier post, an FBI agent told me that Etan Patz, who was kidnapped years ago in NYC, was a victim of a pedophile ring. I don't like conspiracy theories, but a friend who I know is well connected told me that William F. Buckley was in a pedophile ring and that substantial powers go towards covering up and protecting them. The FBI agent was never able to get an investigation into the evidence he discovered. Maybe the head of the FBI at the time was involved as well?

Elizabeth Seeberg

This is a sad story, but, given that our society worships sports stars and despises sex abuse survivors, not surprising.

Notre Dame's Punt in the Probe of Lizzy Seeberg's Sad Death
by Melinda Henneberger (c)

LOS ANGELES -- Elizabeth "Lizzy" Seeberg was a college freshman with a wide-open smile – here is a heartbreaking photo of her in spaghetti straps and pearls – who built houses with Habitat for Humanity and hoped to become a nurse. Lizzy also suffered from depression, and 10 days after telling friends and campus cops that she'd been sexually assaulted by a University of Notre Dame football player, rape crisis volunteers who knew she had missed a counseling session found her barely breathing in her dorm room.
The 19-year-old daughter of serious Catholics and prominent volunteers in the Chicago suburb of Northbrook died on Sept. 10, of what turned out to be a lethal dose of the anti-depressant Effexor. And the football player, who hasn't been named? He is not only still in school, but wasn't even benched, according to the Chicago Tribune, and presumably will take the field against University of Southern California on Saturday, with my whole ND-adoring family in attendance. I love my alma mater, (really, I do) but the thought that I might be cheering for Lizzy's attacker makes me want to shake down more than some thunder.
Not long after the semester began, on the evening of Aug. 31, Seeberg told her friends at St. Mary's College, the all-women's school across the road from Notre Dame, that she had been assaulted but not raped in an attack that was interrupted by a knock on a dorm-room door. That same night, she sat down and hand-wrote an account of all that had happened, and the next day made a full report to the Notre Dame cops. She also sought treatment at a hospital, where she submitted to DNA testing and accepted an offer of counseling.
There have been conflicting reports about whether Notre Dame ever reported her allegations to the county cops who were supposed to be investigating her death. And lucky Notre Dame, from the sound of it, that any crimes committed on the campus are handled not by the South Bend Police Department, but by St. Joseph's County. I say this because county officials at first said the school hadn't informed them of Seeberg's allegations at all. Then, after her death became national news, they changed their story and said their lead investigator had gotten such a call "a couple days" after being assigned to the case, but had disregarded the information because "he just didn't feel it was important."
Lizzy Seeberg's family, naturally, feels otherwise, and has hired former federal prosecutor Zachary Fardon, who is best known as the guy who took down former Illinois Gov. George Ryan for corruption. Lawyered-up school officials, meanwhile, continue to claim it would be a violation of federal law for them to answer any questions about their handling of either her allegations or her apparent suicide. The Tribune has also reported that ND's new football coach, Brian Kelly, cracked wise when repeatedly asked about the matter during a conference call with sportswriters.
You would think that the sass would already have been knocked out of Kelly by the October death of team videographer Declan Sullivan, a 20-year-old killed during a practice when the scissor lift he was perched on fell over in a windstorm, raising questions about whether ND's athletic department has sense enough to put student safety first.
Yet he managed to come off as cavalier about a vulnerable young woman who had begun a school year that was already a do-over for her -- she'd left the University of Dayton after a single semester in '09 -- with high hopes. She "was so excited and so enthusiastic about starting the year off right," a high school friend told the Tribune. "She had a whole plan about what she was going to be."
After reporting that she'd been attacked, though, the newspaper said, Lizzy "suddenly felt self-conscious'' and "feared people would dislike her for accusing a Notre Dame athlete of a sex crime.'' So, four days after filling out a police report, she pulled on a green Notre Dame T-shirt, applied a fake "ND" tattoo to her cheek, and in search of "normalcy," went with friends to a tailgate party to celebrate the first football game of the season.
Though it's true that the football player whose yearbook photo she pointed out to campus cops hasn't been charged, he also hasn't been cleared, and the idea that officials could have conducted anything approaching a thorough investigation in the three days between her report and that first game is absurd. Asking fans to cheer for the team knowing that one of its members has been accused of such a thing is not completely unlike asking that Texas cheerleader to applaud her own rapist.
Do school officials really believe its stonewalling communicates to male and female students that such allegations are taken seriously, or that young women are valued on a par with football players? And what did St. Mary's College President Carol Ann Mooney mean, in her e-mail to students, when she said that while the concern of students in response to the initial Tribune story highlights "what we all know is special about Saint Mary's, our unique sense of community...I realize this story will reawaken painful memories." (Was she saying that it was the story that was the real trouble, rather than the troubling events it reported? And could the death of a fellow student on a tiny campus only a couple of months ago have been far from the community's thoughts even before the Tribune's reports?)
The whole problem with having a team you root for, whether in sports or in politics, is that unless you are fan enough to believe that only the guys on the other side could ever do anything wrong, your own team will at some point behave in a way that does not exactly make you feel like cheering. But it's what happens then that defines us. And if the school does have information that would exonerate the player, and thus the whole team, this would be an excellent time to produce it.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Verdict in Key Sex-Abuse Trial At Risk

Without question, this is the most infuriating article I've read in a long time, from the horrific abuse by an American expat on children to the outrageous misconduct of the prosecution. Of course, the children are left to suffer.

Verdict in key child-sex trial at risk
Attorneys for an ex-Marine convicted of abusing underage girls in Cambodia say a Vietnamese interpreter was having an affair with a federal agent, undermining their case.

(Los Angeles Times - link below)

A costly and emotionally charged child sex case in which prosecutors traveled to Cambodia and paid to fly frightened young victims to the United States is under fire by defense attorneys amid allegations that court interpreters were biased in favor of the prosecution.

One of the interpreters assigned to the case of Michael Joseph Pepe admitted being involved in a sexual relationship with the lead investigator around the time the case went to trial in May 2008, according to documents filed in federal court in Los Angeles.

Pepe, a retired U.S. Marine captain who was working as a teacher in Cambodia, was convicted of having sex with seven girls ages 9 to 12. The girls, speaking through Vietnamese and Khmer interpreters, testified that Pepe drugged, bound, beat and raped them in his compound in Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital.

After Pepe's conviction, prosecutors discovered and disclosed the relationship between interpreter Ann Luong Spiratos and Gary J. Phillips, a special agent with Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Following the disclosure, Pepe's defense attorneys asked U.S. District Judge Dale S. Fischer for a new trial, arguing that the "secret … sexual relationship" between Spiratos and Phillips resulted in skewed interpretations by Spiratos and a colleague, which aided the prosecution and undermined the defense.

"Only after Mr. Pepe was convicted did the defense learn that the Vietnamese language interpreter was not the disinterested interpreter that she appeared," wrote deputy federal public defender Charles C. Brown. "We now know that what the jury heard during the trial was not what the witnesses said but what the interpreters said they said." Brown argued that Spiratos' alleged bias spread to another interpreter she brought in to work on the case.

As a result of the controversy, Pepe's sentencing has been postponed. The motion for a new trial has been pending before Fischer for nearly four months.,0,517471.story

Monday, November 1, 2010

Survivor Forgiveness

I remember him strangling me. I couldn't breath. And for years afterwards I held my breath, inside. And then I met her. And loved her. For nearly two years she repeatedly told me how deeply she was in love with me. This was through the nearly six hundred emails she sent me during this time. And during the six months we lived together. And every time I saw her. I wanted to believe, but was occasionally given reason to ask "why?", such as when I overheard her tell her friends at a party (during the time we lived together) that she wanted them to set her up with someone "cute and rich"; or when she would stop and simply stare at a strikingly attractive man; or when I came over one morning to see that she had clearly spent the night with someone else...(when I tried to ask about such things I'd be given an icy stare and the silent treatment, so as a result I felt that I was constantly walking on eggshells around her); or .... But, more importantly, my childhood made it difficult for me to believe I could be loved at all. Finally, I told her I wanted to be friends - I wanted to know that I meant more to her than my apartment and bank account. Her response was simply "okay." But, a couple of months later after living in agonizing pain at having, in my mind, sabotaged a meaningful relationship, I decided to call her and to confide my painful childhood and to ask for her support in finally confronting it and moving beyond it. I also told her I loved her, which I did very deeply. Her response was to laugh and to tell me to never contact her again. She then hung up on me. I fell into a cycle of despair. Thinking there must be a misunderstanding, remembering that she had told me that she loved me, and remembering the good times, I decided to write explaining the situation. I wrote each week, believing in my ability to open my heart. She never responded but told her friends I'm crazy. I naively considered her two best friends my friends. One was my neighbor who I had spent a lot of time with. I knocked on her door and asked for her help and guidance. She angrily yelled, "why do you keep bothering everybody?" before slamming her door in my face. I ran into her other friend as I entered the large glass door entrance to my building. She was exiting and smashed the door in my face, snorting with laughter. It was very difficult to understand this onslaught of hostility from these people I had felt so close to and so I continued to open up my heart to them in letters. It was the first time in my life that I allowed myself to trust other people and to express feelings and emotions, and clearly I see now that I had a poor sense of boundaries. These people who I believed so much in, and who I reached out to at the lowest point of my life in as honest and thoughtful a way as I knew how, seemed to take great pleasure in their power of hatred. I know their common denominator is that all of them have very difficult relationships with their fathers and in their romantic relationships, and I suppose that once my ex had no more use for me, I became a convenient person for all of them to project their unfocused anger towards men in general onto. It is scary to be relentlessly faced with so much anger and hostility with an undercurrent of violence and aggression, which occurs whenever I run into them, as I do from time to time. I can understand people not liking me but what is difficult for me to process is the evident joy they seem to derive from their abuse, laughing when they slam a door in my face, for instance. It is some sort of primal assertion of power. Or a reflection of their own inner turmoil and pain. Just as the man strangling me and abusing me seemed to take great pleasure in doing so, I've found that what creates abuse isn't the physical act but the psychological joy that the abuser shows in their eyes at their moment of triumph. This is what is the survivor remembers. I remember seeing it in the eyes of my father's sociopathic mistress when I was locked in her apartment as a child desperately trying to get out. My father would leave me with her in some warped effort to get me to know her. She would sit on the couch smoking, icily staring at me. Finally, the ritual would be I would freak out and want to leave, clawing at the locked door. She would laugh hysterically and refuse to unlock the door unless I kissed her, at which moment her eyes reflected triumph. This was my first taste of emotional and sexual abuse. I saw it in the eyes of Peter Barnett, my fourth grade teacher who would hit my everyday and tell me I was stupid. Just at the moment of impact of his hand on my head a self-satisfied smirk would appear. And I saw it in the eyes of the teacher as he strangled me in a distant field. And in the headmaster who realized my parents were incapable of protecting me, and so he was safe. And in the students at The Peddie School who in ninth grade would viciously beat me up because I wouldn't get high or stoned or drink. But, now I have a forgiving attitude towards them. It was a long climb out of their brainwashing to realize that I have value, that I deserve to be happy, and to care about myself. It was the DC Rape Crisis Center that ultimately helped me to heal. I now understand that having grown up with abuse I learned to devalue myself and consequently chose friends who were deeply controlling and manipulative to reinforce my lack of confidence and to perpetuate my emotional scars. But, I've also learned that compassion towards those who were hurtful is the final stage of my healing. For years I found myself plagued with the despair of "why?": Why would a teacher tell me he loved me and take me to an isolated field to violently sexually assault me? Why did the headmaster cover up the assault when I reported it? Why did my father choose alcohol, drugs and a mistress who would hurt his children over treating his family with love and compassion? Why did the woman who told me she deeply loved me over two years viciously turn her back on me at my most desperate moment, when for once I believed in trust and in emotional intimacy? I nearly drove myself crazy with this "why" until I realized that the "why" is ultimately unanswerable. Certainly there are countless theories of personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, psychotic, for instance - and I've mined them all to exhaustion. But, the truth is, in the end these are just theories. What saved my sanity is the insight I received through the lectures of the Dalai Lama that the selves of all people are emptiness (in the Buddhist sense, not the existential sense). What this means for me is that the only goal I have to work for is my inner peace, and to do this is to extend compassion to others - and to myself - with the belief that this engages the power of my mind and creates a virtuous cycle of karma. This is what works for me and what gives me sanity when those I love and trusted have acted insane around me. And I find it because I choose to believe in God and that is where I now place my focus; because that for me is what is lasting. And, I have found friends who are empathetic for strength. So, I forgive the persons who abused me in childhood. I'm a survivor. And I forgive my former friends, the Three Good Musketeers of Saint Ignatius. I don't know where they are, but only feel their ghosts and their rage. So, I sat down and placed a chair opposite me and asked each of them (in spirit) to forgive me for having given them pain and distress by imposing on them my belief in them - my faith that they are greater than who they are. And then I forgave them, because I know that it was out of their own delusions -their lack of self-awareness of their unresolved pain and their ignorance - that they plunged their daggers into my heart, and twisted them with relish, when I believed in them and when I most needed their support and their empathy. And now, I meditate everyday on wishing them happiness. All of them. And now, I breath again.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

How To Help Male Survivors

If you know a man who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and if you want to be supportive of them, this is the best movie you can watch. Below is a clip. It is available on Amazon.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Boy Scouts Sex Abuse Case

Buddhist Pedophile Monks and Buddhist Child Abuse

Sexual abuse by Buddhist Monks

-the wise person understands that sexual abuse is in every culture and religion.

According to the book The Sociopath Next Door, the #1 preferred occupation of sociopaths is being a religious leader (#2 is law enforcement).

I was a Tantric sex slave – June Campbell

The Emperor's Tantric Robes - an Interview with June Campbell

Kloset Kalu, the Secret Lover

Buddhist Clergy Sexual Abuse: Annotated Bibliography

Best-selling Buddhist Author accused of sexual abuse – Don Lattin

Buddhist Sect Alarmed by Reports that Leader Kept His AIDS a Secret - John Dart

Anonymous letter to American Buddha

Tibetan Buddhist Master infects Gay Disciples with HIV

Sonam Kazi Family Values

Echoes of Nalinika: Monk in the Dock – Enid Adam

Karaoke Monk booted out – BBC News Asia

Buddhism and Misogyny (historical overview) – V. and V. Trimondi

The “Tantric Female Sacrifice" – V. and V. Trimondi


Child-Monks, Child-Abuse

Beatings are nothing new

Friendly Feudalism: The Tibet Myth - Michael Parenti

Child Sacrifice - Tibet's little boy 'monks'

Monks arrested over sexual abuse of Sri Lankan war orphans

Buddhism’s pedophile monks – Uwe Siemon-Netto

Princeton Prof. says no to Sri Lanka Child Monks

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Catholic Church Sex Abuse Scandals

A depressing guide to the abuse sex scandals at the Catholic Church. I wonder, would news organizations consider putting together a similar guide for abuse perpetrated at mosques, synagogues, Buddhist monasteries and cults?

Portland Doctor Sentenced For Child Sex Abuse

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Korean Sex Slavery In Washington DC

An article on so-called "Asian massage parlors" can be found here:

-A female friend I greatly cared for once told me that she felt under constant siege by a world intent on violence towards women. She felt the worst violence was the most subtle: the constant gaze of men. Intellectually, I think I understood at the time what she was saying (I was passionate about many female punk bands like Bikini Kill and Tribe 8, and in that regard I became well-versed in post-feminist theory). But, it wasn't until her breakdown (due in no small part towards the effects of child sex abuse on her psyche) that I began to emotionally process and understand her fears and pain.

This photo montage evolved out of this emotional understanding. It is supposed to signify a reversal of the gaze. This montage is inspired by Andy Warhol's photographic work; Warhol's work emphasized repetition, such as the repetition of these prints. His work had the subtext of the interplay between sexuality and violence.
Jasmine Therapy is located in downtown Washington DC. An internet search shows it to be listed and reviewed in detail as a business involved in the trafficking of Korean women on sites that promote the sexual abuse of women. The vast majority of women (and men) who work as prostitutes have been victims of sex abuse as children (as I detail in earlier posts) and are in situations that include severe addictions, depression and economic exploitation.
As an abuse survivor myself, this art project is a way I can feel some closure by perhaps raising some awareness in my community (Washington DC) by being an advocate for sex abuse survivors.
Over the course of a few hours on a Saturday a steady stream of men, and only men, went to and from Jasmine. Given the internet reviews, this raises obvious questions, but I make no allegations. Because of the serious nature of this matter I have forwarded these photos and related information onto the DC police; however, I have no evidence that Jasmine or the men depicted in these photos in any way engaged in illegal activity. If they wish to leave a comment, or request removal of their photo, they may do so.
additional reading:

Belgium Church Leader Urged Silence Over Sex Abuse

Monday, August 23, 2010

Justice Department Declines To Prosecute Child Rape Case

Albino Girl Murdered in Swaziland

When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Togo I often heard reports of children being snatched and killed for purposes of voodoo. But, I think the voodoo aspect is simply an excuse of sorts to rationalize child abuse, as I suspect many of the children are sexually abused prior to their murders. A sobering story, above. Hopefully, justice will be served.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Capturing The Friedmans

How To Help Survivors Of Child Sex Abuse

How to Help Survivors of Sex Abuse

If asked, based on my experience I would give a survivor of sex abuse three simple pieces of advice:
First, contact the local rape crisis center. The centers provide counseling, which is critical, or can help the victim find an experienced counselor.

Second, contact the local law enforcement authorities. Even if the abuse happened years earlier and the statute of limitations has long passed, there may be (and likely are) other victims out there.

Third, contact a lawyer to pursue a civil action. In terms of finding a lawyer, I suggest googling the topic "sex abuse" and other relevant terms along with your state (or country). Look for news articles about recent sex abuse cases and they will invariably cite the names of attorneys who are representing plaintiffs. It is critical to find an attorney who specializes in the area of sex abuse crimes because the case law is complex. The following article, for example, cites Carmen Durso, a well-regarded lawyer in Massachusetts.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

D.C. Civil Statute Of Limitations For Child Sex Abuse

I believe that the civil statute of limitations for child sex abuse is terribly inadequate. This is taken from a resource cited below:

"The D.C. statute of limitations for personal injury actions provides that an action must be brought within three years "from the time the right to maintain the action accrues." D.C. Code § 12-301 (1995). If the victim is a minor when the injury occurs, he or she may bring the action within three years of his/her eighteenth birthday. D.C. Code § 12-302 (a)(1) (1995).

In Cevenini v. Archbishop of Washington, 707 A.2d 768 (D. C. 1998), the Court held that the statute of limitations expires 3 years from the injury or when the victims achieved their majority (age 18). The Court refused to enlarge the scope of the discovery rule and refused to reach the issue of whether "discovery" required an appreciation of the connection between the injury and the abuse. The court stated that under both the general rule . . . and the discovery rule exception, the statute of limitations begins to run when a plaintiff either has actual knowledge of a cause of action or is charged with knowledge of that cause of action. Diamond v. Davis, supra, 680 A.2d at 372; see also Burns v. Bell, 409 A.2d 614, 615 (D.C. 1979) (where the fact of injury is readily discernible, the SOL begins to run when the injury occurs"). In Farris v. Compton, 652 A.2d 49 (D.C. App. 1994) the court applied the discovery rule to extend the SOL in a repressed memory case. The Cevenini court distinguished Farris by reasoning that the repression of memory was total in Farris but that the victims in Cevenini had some memory of the abuse.

The victims in the Cevenini case were represented by Attorney Gregory L. Murphy of Washington, D.C."

Resource: The D.C. Rape Crisis Center

Note that if a child was sexually abused, he or she has to file a suit by age 21. The reality is that most adults who were sexually abused do not confront their experience until decades later. There are many complex reasons for this which I will cite in future posts.

This law must change.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Strategies For Mangaging Anxiety

Strategies For The Survivor In Managing Anxiety
Unfortunately, anxiety was instilled in me at an early age from various role models. Starting in 1st grade I attended the International School of Geneva. Teachers would routinely hit the students, especially the ones who were neglected at home (the worst at the International School of Geneva, Switzerland was Mr. Peter Barnett in Fourth Grade; he hit me in the head daily or knocked my head against the heads of other students. He also continually belittled and mocked me; it was the emotional abuse that was as damaging, or more, as the physical. One day I had done exceptionally well on a test because I had studied for it; he accused me of cheating and failed me, smirking all the while. I hope that other students who suffered at his hands find consolation that they aren't alone, and that I am willing to speak out against him). Typically, I had no home discipline and so would only rarely shower or bathe. My choice of clothes was torn jeans and a parents never noticed. Of course, I never did homework or brought a lunch. The teachers continually hit me, telling me that it was the only way to knock sense into me. They would line up all the class students from best dressed and best looking to worst dressed and worst looking. Inevitably, I would be place at the end of the line and mocked by the teachers. I generally had to walk home a few miles (I'm not sure how long the distance was, but it took about two hours) because no one picked me up from school. Eventually, my parents would return home. If my father was around he would begin to drink until about four in the morning and would beat up my mother and yell at her. Multiple times he almost killed her but for my intervention, pulling him off her, for instance. Then back to school to be hit by teachers and beat up by my "friends", and the cycle continued. By eighth grade I was sent to boarding school where I was violently assaulted and suffered sexual and emotional abuse by the first teacher who had acted kindly to me. I reported it but the head of the institution threatened me to remain silent. For high school I became rather quiet, where other students at The Peddie School either beat me up or ignored me as "weird."
As I look back on the end of the relationship that meant the most to me, I place the blame ultimately and squarely on myself. I was my own worst enemy. I was consumed with anxiety that I couldn't be loved or safe. When I finally confided in the woman I loved and who told me she loved me, her response was to laugh, hang-up on me and cut off all contact, telling her friends to do likewise. I've told the story elsewhere and won't rehash it all. The point is to explain that I did ultimately let go of anxiety and learn to manage it.
The critical method I found was meditation as taught by the Dalai Lama. There are many different types of meditation and his methods are what worked for me, so I've adopted them. The power of meditation is that it can actually rewire the brain. What I didn't understand at the time when I was asking my ex-girlfriend for support is that adults who have suffered emotional trauma as children carry an emotional loop in their hypothalamus. The proper processing of emotions is to store the memories in the amygdala, but until the experience is normalized this can't happen. Talk therapy is one very important means of doing this as is cognitive therapy (I recommend reading Albert Ellis to learn more about this). Meditation is the other critical component which works the frontal lobe (when undertaken properly); this ultimately increases the higher cognitive functions to overtake the emotional residue of the hypothalamus.
Three years after my ex-girlfriend hung up on me, I wrote her what I hoped was a thoughtful email explaining what I had gone through, my road to recovery, and my wish to be supportive of her happiness. I felt that I could be a positive and supportive person for her, as I can see that I had been rather self-absorbed as I dealt with my own baggage. No response was difficult. But I meditate on compassion and on positive thoughts and wishes for her and through insight meditation have released anxiety from my life caused by abusers like Mr. Barnett and others from my childhood.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Tibetan Yoga

One of the emotinal hurdles for the survivor to overcome is low self-esteem. It is often manifested in unhealthy relationships. Here I share one experience and discuss my discovery of Tibetan yoga as a strategy of coping.
As I entered my building today I ran into my neighbor who is the best friend of my ex-girlfriend. She was with two other of my ex-girlfriend's close friends. As usual, my neighbor gave me a viciously angry stare, as did the two other women. Right before I arrived, I had been listening to a show on NPR interviewing a couple about their divorce. The woman said that all of her girlfriends encouraged her to destroy her husband emotionally and financially once he expressed a desire for divorce. I can believe it...I don't even know why my ex has such rage towards me, she never told me.
As much as I've been practicing non-attachment, it is a different animal when confronted with people in the flesh who have a deep seated hatred. I can come up with all sorts of theories about their emotional adjustment or cognitive problems but when faced with their anger how to respond is another matter. For me it is just very upsetting; there is no question that they are abusive and on a power trip but it still hurts. I have done everything possible to first reach out and be friendly and then to just go about my life, but I can't escape the emotional punch from their seething.
This week I'm reading a good book called Tibetan Yoga. It goes into great detail on the techniques of the yogis to maintain equilibrium in the face of hostility. As Kirsten and Autumn projected their anger I did feel upset but I practiced the breathing techniques from the book. I later went for a long walk and practiced mindful meditation. How much pain they must have suffered from their fathers to be so unhappy. How uncomfortable it must be for them to carry so much anger, raising their blood pressure and making their faces look so ugly.
It appeared that my neighbor was moving out of the building. She likely sold her place. This cuts my last link to my ex-girlfriend. Although it will be freeing not to have to confront her anger, oddly there is also a renewed sense of loss as that part of my life is now completely gone. And if they carry so much hatred, it has ended with my ex despising me, for what reason I'll never know. I guess I always hoped for a mature connection at some point, still. For I loved my girlfriend, even if I never truly knew her.

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

How To Help Survivors Of Sexual Abuse

When I was a preteen, I was the victim of a violent, day-long sexual assault. The article on Kevin Ricks caused me to reflect on how sex abuse has impacted my life.
My parents were going through a bitter divorce. My father was an acute alcoholic and my mother a victim of horrific domestic violence. In this chaotic atmosphere I was sent to live away from home for a time and instantly, I became the perfect target for sexual predators: an emotionally deprived and needy child with no parental supervision. Adults at the institution were given free reign with the children in their care. In what was a classic case of grooming by a sexual predator, an adult took specific interest in me, calling me his favorite and taking me out on numerous trips.
One day, as autumn approached, the adult asked me to join him for a ride in the country. As we walked through a deserted field, surrounded by trees and electric power towers, he asked me: “why do you spend time with me when I could easily kill you?” With that, he began to strangle me. I know that I momentarily blacked out and went into a state of shock. He began to undo my pants and sexually assaulted me.
My next memory is being back in his apartment where over a number of hours he sexually molested me. At the time he did this, he kept repeating to me: “I love you, I love you.” The only emotion I recall is being frozen with fear. When he asked me to masturbate him and take a shower with him, I refused and told him I wanted to leave. He kept trying to convince me to stay but eventually relented.
I still recall in slow motion his unlocking the multiple locks on his door, my long walk down his hallway and across the street. It was dinnertime and I headed to the cafeteria. However, feeling sick I excused myself and went to the infirmary instead.
That evening, while I was at the infirmary word (possibly through the nurse) got to the heads of the institution of what has happened to me. They told me it was my fault and threatened against revealing what happened. My parents were never informed.
Terrorized, I felt I had a secret to be ashamed of and lived in shock and in silence. Although I had been a very social and chatty kid, I became increasingly quiet and reserved. No person ever asked me what was wrong.
I’ve since learned that it is common for abuse and trauma victims look to for ways to numb their pain and emotions. Having seen the destructive effects of drugs and alcohol on my father, I had no appetite for those. Instead, I threw myself into school work and suppressed my emotions (I had them but didn't allow myself to express and to acknowledge them).
Years went by and I developed a career. The impact of the abuse on my life continued, however, on a personal level. I never felt comfortable developing friendships with men because I unconsciously distrusted their motives. If I emotionally became close to a woman who declared her love for me, I also became consumed with distrust and would end the relationship.
Throughout most of my twenties and thirties I worked full time and pursued graduate work in the evenings. Being a workaholic provided a narcotic effect which allowed me to continue to suppress my feelings about the abuse.
Decades after the abuse I fell in love with a woman who told me that she also was very much in love with me. After a year-and-a-half, the same pattern repeated itself where I began to emotionally pull away from her, questioning how I could believe that she loved me and ultimately breaking up in a very thoughtless way.
In distress at having sabotaged a deeply meaningful relationship, I knew that I finally had to confront my past abuse and its impact on my life. I could not spend the rest of my life overwhelmed and reacting to the past. I called the police to report the crime, called the institution to report the crime and hired a lawyer who specializes in sex abuse cases.
The process of coming to terms with the past was not easy. The police detective I spoke to was very kind but informed me that the statute of limitations for criminal prosecution had long passed. I learned that the perpetrator had continued to work with boys for decades after my experience and he died just a month prior to my call.
After my initial call to the police, I was flooded with grief and allowed myself for the first time in thirty years to cry. Unfortunately, in this emotional state I decided to reach out to two friends and to my ex-girlfriend for support. I reached out to them as the most compassionate and enlightened people I knew.
The friends responded with stunned silence and said they didn't want to get involved. My former girlfriend simply hung up on me. As I expanded the search for support, the responses ranged from "that sucks" to "accept the things you can't change." I see now that it was misguided to believe that friends would have the insights, skills or motivation to respond with empathy. At the time, however, it was devastating.

This is the reality however for survivors of sex abuse; it is so abhorrent that educated and relatively enlightened people shut down or react without compassion (I've since learned that they more often than not have their own unresolved issues of abuse and to confront the abuse of another would mean they would have to confront their own past).
Luckily, just as I was at my lowest point, a friend who had just returned from the Peace Corps, and who had experience with therapy, encouraged me to find a competent therapist. She also suggested that a female therapist would be preferable given my deep unconscious distrust of men.
After meeting with various therapists, I finally settled on one. She was the first person in all these years who said “I’m sorry for what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault.” This is when the path to recovery began. I later began attending a support group for abuse victims coordinated by the local Rape Crisis Center. Hearing the other men’s stories was the first time that I knew that I could face my pain and move forward. Four years later I am now a volunteer with the DC Rape Crisis Center.

If you know a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, the response doesn't have to be hard; simply give them the number to the DC Rape Crisis Hotline 202-333-Rape. Or give them the website

State Failure To prevent Child Sex Abuse